Day 29 (30 days to becoming a better parent)
Identifying true friends is something we as people struggle with throughout our entire lives. As children you can easily befriend anyone. I always find it very interesting to watch kids engage with one another for the first time, and then come back and say “I don’t like her”. What was it about her that you didn’t like? When I asked a little girl I used to have under my care why she didn’t like a girl in her class, her response was essentially a list of the things that are different from her. “She doesn’t know how to play cards” or “she doesn’t like to colour” or “she is mean to her mommy”. It’s simple. Kids want to play with other kids who enjoy the same activities, and treat others the same way they do. I guess it’s why the “bad kids” navigate towards other “bad kids”. It’s the same when you’re a teenager, which is why you find cliques in high school. As you get older, you change and so do your interests and therefore sometimes your friends will change too. If you’re fortunate enough to find a friend who embodies the same values, interests and characteristics that you do, and they change with you, and grow with you – this is a true friend.
I also found that there are friends who are nice to your kids, and hang around them but have alterior motives; they know that they get food or snacks if they come to your house, they like your tv or toys better than their own, they know you share your things, they like to hang out with your siblings or best friends. These friends as DofD calls them are “pseudo friends”. How do you help your kids differentiate between true friendships and, others?
What is it that you value most in your relationships with others? How can you tell if someone is a “true” friend or a “life-long” friend or a “pseudo” friend? How do you support and encourage your childrens friendships? If you have kids who associate with “the wrong crowd” how do you deal with that?
Dad of Divas has a great take on this topic and some links to check out too. Click the pink link below to check it out!
Day 29: Valuing Friendship & Identifying True Friends